Are You in Danger of Becoming a Discontinued Model?

by Barbara Collins

My husband Bill and I suspect we have been discontinued. In truth, this feeling has been creeping up on us for quite some time now, and mostly we turn our backs and keep moving along, but every once in awhile, it taps us on the shoulder, and we are forced to turn around and look it squarely in the face. Such a moment came last week when our friendly neighborhood shoe repair man informed us that he was about to retire and that in any case the holes in our soles could no longer be patched; we had to go out in search of replacements.

Bass Weejun loafers are hard to find these days. Oh one can find them online—on a site offering “classic models” like saddle shoes no less--but go to the store where we used to replace our loafers every few years, and the store clerk will offer up only a blank look.

With rumors that Talbots and Eddie Bauer are teetering on the financial brink, it is hard to picture how we will continue to put together that reasonably priced tailored simplicity for work and comfy lie-about cords and crewnecks that have carried us so respectably--not to mention cheaply--through workdays and weekends all these years.

And then there are our habits, those reassuringly quiet bookends of the day that one looks forward to through the more exasperating moments—leafing through the morning paper between sips of coffee, leaning back to consider the evening news. Another tap on the shoulder, and before we turn around the Seattle PI is gone.

Sure we can get the paper and streamed news online. So maybe it's all for the best--except perhaps when one considers the peace of the moment and the paperboy. In regard to TV news, the question is more open. We began our evening habit with the “most trusted man in America” delivering national and international events on CBS. Today the most trusted man in America delivers “fake” news on Comedy Central, yet there is little doubt that in a daily show, he is the closest we can find to the original.

Our neighbor Bostwick is only a few years younger, but he is fond of letting us know that he has kept up while we have lagged behind. His house is heavily laden with all the latest technology; he is, as he tells us, “never out of touch” This is important to him. For unlike Bill and me, who depend on our financial advisor to look out for us in her area of expertise as we look out for the schoolchildren and patients who are dependent on our special skills, Bostwick handles all his investments himself.

He came over last week to proclaim his success. He had taken himself out of the market right at the beginning of the downturn. The tap on our shoulders was hard enough to hurt this time. But the unkindest cut is the refrain from the pols that we are all to blame for living beyond our means. Not we “pay as you go” folks, and there are still plenty of us!

Then yesterday, the remaining paper landed with a thud on our stoop. “Look at this!” Bill shouted as he spread the front page out on the kitchen table. The lead story was about a huge insider Ponzie scheme and those who had lost all their money by investing in it. Near the top of the list was old Bostwick! He had taken his money out of the market and put it there.

Well perhaps there is a use for us old timers after all. Some ideas appear to be making a resurgence. Our favorite clothing and some of our favorite pastimes may have gone the way of bellbottoms and hula hoops, but the warning from our depression-era educated folks to keep most of our money in savings accounts--federally insured--still seems to have some currency.

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